Jobs (2013)

jobsJobs (2013)

Directed by: Joshua Michael Stern

Starring: Ashton KutcherDermot MulroneyJosh Gad

one-star

Much like an actual job, I demand to be paid by the hour for my time spent in watching this movie. I spent a long time thinking of that and I feel pretty bad about it, so let’s start again. I have no idea why this movie came together like it did to because the perfect combination of ego and insanity, but the world really could have done without it, in a big way.

Jobs is a biopic about Steve Jobs, that guy who invented apples. It’s mostly just about him graduating from college up until he reveals the iPod… which means that after that point is stuff everybody knows and doesn’t need to be repeated. Oh my god I’m so old. Anyway, Jobs yells at people all the time and makes some computers and then he leaves and then he comes back and yells some more and turns blue because of homeopathic remedies that have never worked oh wait that wasn’t in the movie ha ha I suppose art really does imitate life…

That was a really long sentence. I apologize for how bad this review is turning out. I’d like it to be better, but there are certain things one cannot change in this world. Jobs really distressed me in how it both clearly revered the man and also portrayed him as a raving sociopathic madman. Jobs is constantly flying off the handle at the smallest thing, getting really mean and personal and just generally awful to the people he’s talking to. It’s hard to be in the same room as Ashton Kutcher’s performance when he’s trying really hard to be angry. It’s just so unnatural and bad that it couldn’t have possibly happened by accident, that’s all I’m saying. Pretty sure this is actually an anti-Jobs movie.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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