Directed by: Barry Battles
Starring: Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Paul Wesley, Zoe Bell
Do you enjoy watching rednecks wearing Confederate flag shirts go around beating women, murdering people indiscriminately, and making fun of the handicapped? If you do, thanks for reading my review writer/director Barry Battles! No hard feelings, but I think you’re kind of a monster!
Three violent brothers are hired to kidnap a kid from Billy Bob Thornton and bring him back to Eva Longoria, who wants to take care of the kid because he’s got a lot of money coming to him. Billy Bob hires a ridiculous gang of lady bikers to take out the brothers, and when that doesn’t work he gets some other “badass” guys to fight them and there’s something about an FBI agent who doesn’t like the south… Wow, I really don’t care.
It’s a celebration of ignorance and violence, and not the fun kind. Seriously, it’s nothing but people shooting each other and being generally despicable, and there’s really no content underneath it to justify any of this. I mean, you can make movies about horrible people and they don’t necessarily have to be as bad as the characters they portray. I’m not even of the school of thought that an awful character has to have a redemption to be an effective lead, but The Baytown Outlaws is a whole different thing. The filmmaker clearly didn’t feel like any of the things they were doing was wrong, and that an audience would really enjoy watching their wacky exploits. Which I really hope isn’t true.