Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Directed by: Joseph Sargent

Starring: Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest, Mario Van Peebles

There isn’t very much that’s remarkable about the fourth Jaws movie… except that it has the greatest tagline in the history of cinema: “This time… it’s PERSONAL!” You may have seen it before, probably because it is amazing and basically the best line you could ever ascribe to a shark attack movie. The best part is that it’s also a very accurate, concise plot summary. It’s got it all!

The wife of the guy from the original Jaws is convinced that the shark is out to kill her whole family, which is of course ridiculous. First off, it’s a shark, they don’t act like that, and second of all, that shark is long dead, what is this, some sort of hereditary feud or something? APPARENTLY SO! Another shark shows up that only attacks members of the family and/or Michael Caine since he happens to be trying to bang the worried widow. Yet again they explode the shark and everything’s all well and good forever (because they stopped making Jaws movies).

Hilariously enough, Jaws: The Revenge is even more ridiculous than most shark attack monster movies they pump out these days, mostly because those are about killing as many random innocents as possible instead of giving a shark a motive for murder. It’s a lot more like Orca, which is itself like a weird sharkish version of the end of Frankenstein. I know way too much about shark movies, goddamn.

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