Volcano (1997)

Volcano (1997)

Directed by: Mick Jackson

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann

Mmm… delicious, buttery coast toast. My favorite. Does anybody else remember thinking that the concept behind Volcano was neat and kinda new? Oh, was a dumb kid I was fifteen years ago…

The tectonic plates beneath Los Angeles finally produce something even more terrifying than earthquakes: An entire volcano erupts, setting fire to the city and melting a bunch of dudes in slow motion. Only Tommy Lee Jones can save the city, for some reason, and he does. Yep, that’s pretty much it.

This movie is goddamn boring for having so many people melting in lava. Lava, for god’s sake! Lava is one of the coolest things in the world (ha ha, get it because it’s hot ha ha ha), and stuff melting in it is supposed to be awesome to watch in a movie. So what the fuck happened here, Volcano? Too much Tommy Lee Jones yelling at firemen crankily and not enough melting, that’s what I say.