The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Directed by: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum

I gotta give my friend Zach, who gave me this dumb challenge, some credit. He got a good, diverse selection of disaster movies in here, which includes The Day After Tomorrow‘s scenario of New York freezing. Which just happens to be the MOST BORING POSSIBLE doomsday scenario.

Thanks to global warming, too many glaciers are melting into the ocean, disrupting the balance of fresh and salt water there, which changes the Northwest current (or something, I wasn’t really paying attention to the stupid alarmist pseudoscience). The practical effect of this is that everything above the Mason-Dixon line in North America flash freezes. For some reason, Dennis Quaid decides to go rescue his son Jake Gyllenhaal from a library in the city which he’s holed up in. Then… I guess the sun rises and the storm is over and everything’s okay? So he could’ve just literally waited a day instead of having some of his friends die, and the exact same thing would’ve happened. Huh.

Yeah, there’s no point to the actual conflict of this movie. The disaster itself is completely unavoidable and there’s nothing anybody can do about it, so instead they focus on this pointless journey that Dennis Quaid makes… which you can’t possibly care about. They would’ve had a more interesting time focusing on the astronauts on the ISS that they show a couple times, like if the story was about them being cut off from the Earth and they see this huge ice storm taking over America and they freak out about it. You know, a humanistic story about people in a confined space where they can’t do anything about a horrible disaster, and how they deal with it and each other. That took me three seconds of thought, and is about a thousand times more interesting of a concept than this stupid hiking across snow shit.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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