Directed by: Jon Amiel
Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo
As much as I hate to admit this, I kinda like The Core. I mean, it has Aaron Eckhart in it, and he’s a good actor (though… not so much in this film), and it’s just kind of an interesting concept. Not the plot, god no, but I like the idea of people going into the middle of the Earth in a dumb little ship. Reminds me of some book I read as a kid, I think.
The molten core of the Earth has stopped spinning, which is completely fucking up the magnetic field of the planet, which is very bad. Luckily, one guy has invented not only a laser that allows them to easily burrow through the ground, but also a magic material he calls “unobtainium” (fuck you) which can withstand the heat of the core. They go down with an ethnically-diverse crew to drop nukes in the core to “restart” the spinning and save the world.
You know what really pisses me off about this movie? At the start of the third act, they find out that they didn’t bring enough nukes to make their plan work, so the antagonistic scientist declares that they should just go back. What the fuck do you mean, “go back”? If you don’t do this, EVERYTHING IS BROKEN AND DEAD FOREVER, YOU IGNORANT CUNT. When we have to send a crack team of scientists to really save the world, whoever’s in charge really needs to make sure they don’t bring along any of those kinds of guys. I mean seriously, how stupid are you?