Directed by: Shane Van Dyke
Starring: Shane Van Dyke, Marie Westbrook, Bruce Davison
So after watching three really good movies, I get this “sequel” to Titanic from my least favorite production company, The Asylum. That pretty much figures.
In modern times, a philanthropist playboy has built a cruise ship called the Titanic II (yes, that’s actually the name of the boat), which was built to look like the original Titanic, for some reason. Meanwhile, in the North Pole, a massive iceberg is splitting apart, creating massive typhoons, tidal waves, and, of course, giant floating icebergs which ram straight into the Titanic II, against all odds. HOW IRONIC THAT THE SECOND ONE IS ALSO DESTROYED BY ICE! OH THE HUMANITY!!
Basically this is a disaster movie. Because it’s so bad!! No, because of the big tidal waves and what have you. It’s obviously a made-for-the-SyFy-Channel production, since it’s exactly like every other shitty cheap disaster movie they play (I haven’t watched real TV in ages, is that channel still 90% dumb movies? I sure hope so). Surprisingly, such a painfully bad premise didn’t leave any room for anything specifically remarkable, which I have to admit disappointed me. If I’m going to watch something called Titanic II, I expect it to be far above the average for suckiness. If only the Asylum was out to make specifically “so bad it’s good” movies, instead of just cashing in on other popular films. I guess that’s why they’re so terrible.