The Bachelor (1999)

The Bachelor (1999)

Directed by: Gary Sinyor

Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renée Zellweger, Ed Asner

Wow. All right, so which of the five writers that were involved in this project is the world’s biggest misogynist? Because it has to be one of them. Or hey, maybe they just all hate women a lot, and they pooled their talents together to make this hateful film! The world may never know…

Chris O’Donnell is a worthless human being. And in the movie, he plays a similar character! BAM! HOME RUN! Anyway, he’s a serial bachelor who only enjoys the thrill of conquest in his relationships, until his grandfather dies and leaves him $100 million… as long as he can get married in one day! Eventually, he settles on his girlfriend of three years. Boy, it sounds really bad when I put it like that…

The thing basically culminates when his dumb comic relief sidekick friend puts an ad in the paper for anyone who wants a hundred million dollars to come and get married, but it gets put on the front page, and O’Donnell gets chased around by a mob of women in wedding dresses. It’s funny, you see, because after he fails to get any of his ex-girlfriends to marry him (because they have wacky idiosyncrasies like having goals and dreams or having completely logical reasons to not want to marry this douchebag), then we get to see how many more women there are who only want money and don’t care about anything else! Goddamn hilarious. Fuck you, Steve Cohen, screenwriter. That’s probably the closest you’ll get to the real thing.


About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: