The Animal (2001)

The Animal (2001)

Directed by: Luke Greenfield

Starring: Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell, John C. McGinley

Ugh, Rob Schneider. How the hell did this guy get a career, anyway? Shouldn’t there be someone in charge of making sure guys like this and Larry the Cable Guy never show their faces publicly again? I will take that job, if it’s currently vacant. I’m very devoted.

Rob Schneider is a loser (WOW! ACTING!) who gets in a car crash and has to be put back together with animal parts, a la The Six Million Dollar Man. This gives him super powers, like the ability to run fast and smell things, but also causes him to take on animal characteristics, which results in WACKY HIJINKS THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL ENJOY!! HAHAHAHA SO FUCKING FUNNY I WANT TO GOUGE MY GODDAMN EYES OUT AND EAT THEM, GURGLING ON MY OWN DISGUSTING EYE JUICES!!!

I didn’t like this movie very much.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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