Big Ass Spider! (2013)

big ass spiderBig Ass Spider! (2013)

Directed by: Mike Mendez

Starring: Lin Shaye, Ray Wise, Greg Grunberg

one-star

Do you like your giant monster fighting SyFy original movies with an extra helping of hate and racism? If you thought you had to confine yourself to the films of the 40’s and 50’s, there’s good news! Big Ass Spider! is one of the most casually racist and sexist films I’ve seen in a long time, and also you should kill yourself.

A genetically modified spider (using DNA from microbes found on Mars, no less) escapes the military into a hospital where it runs crazy killing people and melting off their faces sometimes just for kicks. A terrible human being and exterminator with a major in spiderology just happens to be there, and he and his racist caricature Mexican security guard friend must stop it before it becomes huge and terrorizes the town. And once they fail at that, they just have to stop it.

This is a tremendously stupid movie. Every joke in the film is just “ha ha, look at that guy! He’s from Mexico!”, all the deaths are boring and the effects are really, really terrible. There’s no redeeming quality to a film named Big Ass Spider!, surprisingly enough.

Advertisements

About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: