Directed by: Mike Mendez
Starring: Lin Shaye, Ray Wise, Greg Grunberg
Do you like your giant monster fighting SyFy original movies with an extra helping of hate and racism? If you thought you had to confine yourself to the films of the 40’s and 50’s, there’s good news! Big Ass Spider! is one of the most casually racist and sexist films I’ve seen in a long time, and also you should kill yourself.
A genetically modified spider (using DNA from microbes found on Mars, no less) escapes the military into a hospital where it runs crazy killing people and melting off their faces sometimes just for kicks. A terrible human being and exterminator with a major in spiderology just happens to be there, and he and his racist caricature Mexican security guard friend must stop it before it becomes huge and terrorizes the town. And once they fail at that, they just have to stop it.
This is a tremendously stupid movie. Every joke in the film is just “ha ha, look at that guy! He’s from Mexico!”, all the deaths are boring and the effects are really, really terrible. There’s no redeeming quality to a film named Big Ass Spider!, surprisingly enough.