Directed by: David Hogan
Starring: Pamela Anderson, Amir Aboulela, Adriana Alexander
What’s not to love about post-apocalyptic 90’s movies? Maybe I just have a bad attitude about it because I’ve seen so many of the goddamn things and I’m of the opinion it’s because they’re cheap as fuck to make and they can pass the most bland and basic story off as being somewhat thoughtful just because of the post-apocalyptic nature of it. Or maybe Barb Wire is just a really shitty movie? That could certainly be the case…
The titular character (HA TITS) runs a nightclub in post-apocalyptic Canada or something and she has to help the rebellion smuggle some plans or other out of the military-controlled town. Basically it’s somewhere between Star Wars and Casablanca, but only if you first drain out any semblance of fun or good writing out of them and replace them with Pam Anderson’s saline bags.
Really, when you base a whole movie around someone’s boobs, you have no reason to be surprised that it comes out really awful. I’ll say this for Barb Wire, they could’ve gotten away with making a lot cheaper and just not cared as much about the effects, but they went out of their way to make it look fairly good. Probably because the production designer tricked them into giving him a lot of money so he could pad out his resume. Good for him.