Nailbiter (2012)

nailbiterNailbiter (2012)

Directed by: Patrick Rea

Starring: Joicie Appell, Emily Boresow, Jason Coffman

one-star

Oh boy, another horror movie where people are attacked by crazy hillbillies. My favorite. What is it that’s so inherently terrifying about grown men that live with their elderly mothers, anyway? I’d expect someone like that to be really into World of Warcraft rather than be an axe murderer.

On their way to the airport, a woman and her three daughters take shelter in a cellar of an abandoned house from an oncoming tornado. As the tornado passes, the people who own the house come back, and lock them down in the cellar. They have to fight their way out using the Rambo-like techniques they learn from drinking moonshine, I guess.

This movie taught me that if you’re locked in a cellar, you will become a super-soldier. I don’t know why it happened and I certainly didn’t care about the movie at that point, so I just took it at face value. I guess there was supposed to be some mystery about whether or not the people in the house were actually supernatural devils or something, but it didn’t really seem to matter one way or another.

About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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