The Ballad of Andy Crocker (1969)

The Ballad of Andy Crocker (1969)

Directed by: George McCowan

Starring: Lee Majors, Joey Heatherton, Jimmy Dean

I love DVD cases for TV movies that are just cheap so they try to make it look halfway like a real movie. Sure, this picture of Pat Hingle is thirty years wrong and that’s clearly Lee Majors from a Six-Million Dollar Man glamour shot, but it’s not like the guy who made this was going to spend more than six minutes photoshopping something up. After that point, they’ll be losing money on the movie.

Majors returns home from the war to find that the mechanic shop he used to work at is being sold, his girlfriend has married some other guy, and there are hippies running rampant throughout the country. None of this goes well for him, and he ends up spiraling into depression and self-delusion.

Lee Majors is actually not that bad in this movie, it’s just that nothing really happens, and it doesn’t happen for a really long time. It kinda reminds me of a much more poorly developed version of The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, only without the singing, obviously.