Delgo (2008)

Delgo (2008)

Directed by: Marc F. Adler, Jason Maurer

Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Val Kilmer, Anne Bancroft

Damn. This movie is terrible. However, according to the IMDb trivia and Wikipedia and stuff, the story behind it is pretty fascinating. Fathom Studios chose only name actors and took six years making this thing, even going so far as to post the actual dailies on their website for public scrutiny. They tried their damnedest to make Delgo something spectacular… except for the writing. And the animation was fucking awful. And the movie ended up being the lowest grossing wide release film in history. Wanh-wanh.

Okay, so there’s this planet where there are two different types of lizard people: one has wings, and the other are black people. I MEAN they don’t have wings. Don’t know where that came from. Anyway, the winged lizard people are in charge of the planet, but the princess of the winged lizards falls in love with a rapscallion from the non-winged lizards, and they unite the two peoples against an evil winged lizard person lady. Featuring Eric Idle as a man who will literally do any role for money.

I kinda wish they had just gone the whole way with the Romeo & Juliet ripoff thing, if only so both the main characters would kill themselves at the end. That would’ve been a really nice touch. But seriously, this movie is so by-the-book that infants already know what’s going to happen, and I’m pretty sure that was the target market. And, again, the CGI is just terrible. It reminded me of that shitty original Xbox game Azurik: Skies of Perathia. Remember that game? It had a glitch in it that kept you from being able to finish. I’ve only ever played the demo for it, but even that ten minutes of wildly thrashing around a magic pool skimmer was significantly more enjoyable than watching any given ten minutes of Delgo. It deserves to have lost over 39 million dollars.