Directed by: Christian Sesma
Starring: Jason Mewes, Samantha Lockwood, Danny Trejo
Shoot the Hero? Who the fuck is the hero in this movie? It isn’t Jason Mewes, who does nothing, but it couldn’t really be anybody else, either. You know what I say? Fuck it, shoot ’em all.
A couple goes to a jewelry store as they’re closing to buy an engagement ring, but it all goes wrong when the place gets robbed! Meanwhile, in a completely different story, two losers (who eventually turn out to be hired killers or some stupid shit) wander around until they finally join back up with the first story, where Danny Trejo is now a mob boss who wants to kill everybody. Ugh.
This film feels like it started as an awful 30 minute short film, and then to pad it out the writer/director decided to include some “funny” self-insert characters who are awesome. Still, that just means it was a bad idea compounded by worse ideas, and in the end it’s a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Not like Human Centipede unpleasant where the actual physical revulsion is the reason you want to see it in some sick, twisted way, but in the way where you just really want to be doing anything else but watching this shitty movie.