Shallow Hal (2001)

Shallow Hal (2001)

Directed by: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Starring: Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jason Alexander

Man, when Jack Black isn’t doing his one funny persona that he always does, he’s awful. I was hoping that there could be at least a little bit of comedy coming from Black, but nope, it’s just Fat Joke City, Jake.

Jack Black is a guy who was traumatized by his father’s confused last words telling him to only bang hot chicks. In the future, this has turned him into a big jerk who judges women by their looks! …Until one day he’s trapped in an elevator with Tony Robbins and he gets hypnotized to only see people’s “inner beauty.” So the joke is that only ugly women are pretty on the inside, so now Jack Black is attracted to conventionally ugly people. He falls in love with a huge fat lady played by Gwyneth Paltrow, and once he gets inevitably un-hypnotized, he stays with her out of love anyway.

This movie is retarded. How the hell are you supposed to be promoting a “real beauty is on the inside” moral when the bulk of the comedy in this romantic comedy comes from that fact that she’s fat and ugly? Also, it makes no sense that Jack Black can be hypnotized to not be able to tell the difference between sex with a huge fat lady and sex with Gwnth Pltrw (she hates vowels, it’s a widely known fact). If there IS hypnotism that goddman mind-bendingly insane, then I would also like some, please. I hope somebody references this movie when they’re in an elevator with Tony Robbins. Actually, I hope that happens from EVERYONE he ever rides in elevators with, for the rest of TIME.