Sinbad and the Minotaur (2011)

Sinbad and the Minotaur (2011)

Directed by: Karl Zwicky

Starring: Manu Bennett, Holly Brisley, Steven Grives

Everybody knows who Sinbad is, right? He’s an Arabian sailor and mythical hero, and/or some fat guy that Popeye beat the shit out of. And we all know that a Minotaur is a half-man, half-bull monster that lives in a labyrinth, right? So how could anybody make a movie called Sinbad and the Minotaur and apparently have no idea about what either of their titular characters are?!

An Australian goon named Sinbad and his wacky black sidekick find a labyrinth which houses a “minotaur”, which is a giant, evil, magical, ghost bull or something? In the middle of the labyrinth is the head of the Colossus of Rhodes (?) which is also made of gold, apparently (???). They have to defeat the devil cow, and also some weird guy who can’t die for some reason never adequately explained.

Apart from the horrible mish-mash of misunderstood mythology (oh man, what an awesome line), this movie is still a shitty made-for-SyFy fantasy/adventure film. Really, was there a reason to call this “Sinbad and the Minotaur” when it clearly has neither of those things in it? Not that giving it another name would make it better, but at least then I wouldn’t have watched it, and… ohhhhhhh. I get it. It’s one of those, “making people watch our movie” things. That should’ve been obvious from the beginning.

 

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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