The Brainiacs.com (2000)

The Brainiacs.com (2000)

Directed by: Blair Treu

Starring: Michael Angarano, Kevin Kilner, Kevin Jamal Woods

Movies should not end in “.com”. Really, nothing except websites should end in “.com”, and even then, I wouldn’t be too proud about it. I know in the futuristic year 2000, the internet was just becoming a huge deal and everyone wanted a slice of the popularity pie, but seriously. The Brainiacs.com, that’s just lazy.

A kid is sad that his dad is busy with work all the time and never has any time for him, so he decides on the only reasonable plan: He’s going to take over his dad’s toy company and ORDER him to spend more time with his kids. It’s actually surprisingly easy for this to happen, but he has to figure out a way to not go to jail for fraudulently gaining the money they used to take over the company or to lose his dad’s company to the evil banker Dom DeLuise.

I just want to say that, if you’re going to have economics as the major conflict in your story, maybe you should make it so that the economics of that conflict make even the slightest amount of sense. DeLuise’s character is evil because he lends as much money as anybody wants, just in case they hit it big, then he’ll get his money back! And that stupid kid horribly stopped the production of the entire company for a month or two, how were they paying the employees? None of it makes sense, and it’s a kid’s movie so who cares, but we really shouldn’t have spent so much time with it if they weren’t even going to try.