Directed by: Ralph Senensky
Starring: Burl Ives, Katy Kurtzman, John Gavin
I haven’t seen Heidi since I was in middle school, and I’ve never read the books or anything, so I really have no idea whatsoever what it’s supposed to be about, besides a little girl in the Alps. So… maybe this sequel isn’t as totally bizarre as I thought. Maybe. Probably not.
Heidi lives in the mountains with her grandpa who is losing his sight. One day he gets lost in the woods and everybody thinks he drowned, so Heidi goes off to live with the family of some random rich girl she met for one day (instead of some other relatives). She becomes basically a pet to make the rich girl happy, and gets involved in their family problems where the dad doesn’t pay attention to the girl because he has to run his hotel empire. They end up going to New York for Christmas and after the dad says “thank you” for a present his daughter gives him, all their family problems are solved forever. The next summer, Heidi goes back to the house in the mountains where she finds her grandpa, who has apparently been living with some random hermit who saved him but never said anything for a full year except for a rant about how he hates Christmas. The rich people give grandpa laser eye surgery, I guess, and then everything ends up being exactly the same as it started. Also, there are songs.
Yeah, the whole movie is really bizarre, but the songs are also of note. Contrary to the popular method of accompanying singing with music, The New Adventures of Heidi takes the bold step in having the characters just say words in a semi-melodic fashion as the background music refuses to change or match the tempo even the slightest. It’s like they wrote all the music beforehand, and then on the day of the shooting the director went, “you know what? Maybe this should be a musical!” It’s fucking bizarre, man. This whole thing is just goddamn weird.