Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

Directed by: Phil Claydon

Starring: Paul McGann, James Corden, MyAnna Buring

Wow, did this movie want to be “vampire Shaun of the Dead“. I mean, I suppose it could’ve been a “homage” or something, what with certain scenes almost DIRECTLY copied out of the earlier film, but I dunno, that’s a really hard line to draw.

Two losers decide to escape their loser life by going to some random village where there’s an ancient curse that turns all girls into lesbian vampires at the age of 18. How they keep making girls there, I have no idea. Anyway, this one guy is prophesied to save them because he’s the descendant of some crusader, blah blah blah. There’s a “funny” fat sidekick character and a priest who swears and a smart girl (she has glasses, that’s how you can tell) and so on and so forth.

I gotta admit, the first twenty minutes or so of this movie is decently funny. Then you realize that they’re going to do the EXACT SAME JOKES FOR THE ENTIRE FILM AND NONE OF THEM ARE ANYWHERE NEAR THAT FUCKING FUNNY, SHUT UP YOU FAT, UNFUNNY FUCK!