The Pink Panther (2006)

The Pink Panther (2006)

Directed by: Shawn Levy

Starring: Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Jean Reno

You have no idea how hard it is for me to watch this movie. I absolutely LOVE the original PInk Panther movies, and when I heard they were making a new one, I felt a little part of my soul shrivel and die. Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but I think you get the general idea. Why make another one?

The Pink Panther borrows from the plot of the original Pink Panther a little, but it’s very much a different story overall. A famous soccer coach (Jason Statham) is killed after his team wins the world cup and his ring which bears a large pinkish diamond, also known as the Pink Panther, is stolen. Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kline) decides to solve the case himself, but he promotes the French police force’s most incompetent officer to draw the media attention away so he can find out the real murderer. Thus enters Inspector Clouseau (Martin). With the help of his aide… uh… some… French name (Reno), Clouseau breaks a bunch of things and accidentally finally solves the case, much to Dreyfus’ chagrin.

Now, I like Steve Martin and I think he’s a naturally funny guy. That being said, it’s just mean to make ANYBODY try to recreate a role that the legendary Peter Sellers originated. I mean, that’s like someone trying to do Vincent Price or Jimmy Stewart. It can be done, but the original was just so unique, it’s impossible to look like anything other than a cheap copy. There was a lot of media coverage about how Steve Martin respected Sellers’ original performance so much that he was conflicted on whether to take the role and blah blah etc, but really, he’s probably the best one around to try it. However, Steve Martin’s Clouseau and Peter Sellers’ Clouseau are very, very different characters. While Peter Sellers worked almost entirely in very subtle mistakes and blunders with some more prominent slapstick thrown in, Steve Martin focuses more on fart jokes and being punched in the face. He was still funny, but really, why would you force an actor to try and be as funny as Peter Sellers? Martin should be commended on doing as well as he did and respecting the part, at least.

Other than the part of Inspector Clouseau, everything else was great. Kevin Kline was excellent as Inspector Dreyfus and it’s always a treat to see Jean Reno in a film (even in that awful American Godzilla movie). Besides them, there was a surprisingly funny performance from Clive Owen (who I started hating because of King Arthur, but he keeps making me like him more… the jerk) and Emily Mortimer as Clouseau’s secretary was funny AND really hot, so that was a twofer. The only supporting character who didn’t come across well was Beyoncé Knowles, who is apparently a pop singer or something who plays a pop singer. Not an actress, very obviously. Madonna did a better job in A League of Their Own, and I figure if you’re a musician and you can’t at least act as well as Madonna, you shouldn’t be in movies.

Overall, it was a funny movie. Which somehow makes it even harder to watch. I mean, if it was terrible, it’d be easy enough to just write off as a bad idea and a bad remake, but it does make you laugh, just in different ways than the original Pink Panther movies. Do I wish they hadn’t made it? Maybe? I’m not sure. It makes it even worse that they’re making a sequel to this remake/prequel/sequel/whatever. Will THAT be any good? WHY CAN’T MOVIES BE EASY TO UNDERSTAND?! Maybe David Lynch can direct the next Pink Panther movie…