Dead & Breakfast (2004)

dead and breakfastDead & Breakfast (2004)

Directed by: Matthew Leutwyler

Starring: Jeremy Sisto, Erik Palladino, Bianca Lawson

one-star

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more apt tagline for a film: “It’s like a bad horror movie… only worse!” It’s a shitty comedy making fun of horror movie tropes and jesus christ am I tired of these things. The last ten years have been nothing but irony layered upon irony and I’m at the point where all I want is something legitimately itself. I guess this is why things change every decade or so, because everyone just gets fucking sick of whatever’s been popular for too long. But I’m not saying anything new here, so let’s get on to the review.

A group of teens go to a bed and breakfast owned by David Carradine and are startled when they wake up and find him dead, hanging in the bathroom by a belt, and– wait, no that’s… well, you know what that is. Anyway, it turns out Carradine had put the soul of his dead baby into a box and it became evil and possessed his French chef Diedrich Bader, so they ended up killing each other. One of the teens gets possessed and goes around town killing people and bringing them back as zombies in an effort to kill the rest of the teens who are trying to put an end to the nightmare.

It’s a stupid movie, but what really pushes it over the line is the recurring motif of a country band who are both characters in the film and are narrators, and they keep singing fucking terrible songs about the plot and it just makes me want to shoot myself in the head with a handmade shotgun made out of bullets and a pipe. How do I find these things, god damn.

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