Promises! Promises! (1963)

Promises! Promises! (1963)

Directed by: King Donovan

Starring: Tommy Noonan, Jayne Mansfield, Marie McDonald

So apparently there was a period of time in the early 60’s where major motion pictures were between self-regulated doctrines. Since the 30’s they had had the Hayes Code, which straight-out forbade questionable things, but in the 60’s they just let more and more raunchy stuff through, until Jack Valenti (THE DESTROYER) rewrote the code to form what we modernly call the MPAA. Or something like that, the specifics aren’t important. The bottom line is that this movie is apparently the first to show a topless movie starlet that was released in theaters. So that’s your Titty History lesson for the day.

Two couples are on a boat (one falls off, who’s left), both of which are having trouble conceiving. The doctor on the boat answers one man’s grievances by giving him aspirin and telling him that it’s a cure for infertility, instead of trying to ACTUALLY do anything. What an asshole. Through a series of wacky hijinks, this guy thinks that his friend knocked up his wife, and vice versa, spirals down into an alcoholic haze, and nearly gets divorced. Did I mention this is a wacky comedy? With boobs?! Oh, the boobs.

Yes, Jayne Mansfield shows her bazongas in this film, in three scenes at the very beginning. However, since that’s obviously the entire reason they made they film, they find every possible excuse to show you those same scenes over and over. Seriously, just out of nowhere the main character will be daydreaming or trying to remember something, and there’s a flashback to Mansfield’s tits. It’s actually kind of hilarious how unashamedly unnecessary it is. Now, that being said… they are definitely worth seeing several times. Just sayin’.

Oh, and the movie was kinda funny, too. Your standard sort of stage comedy where a simple misunderstanding drives the plot, nothing fancy.


About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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