Directed by: Peter Hastings
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Diedrich Bader, Candy Ford
Welp, there’s no mystery to this movie. You know exactly what you’re getting into as soon as you turn it on: You’re going to be spending an hour and a half watching CGI bears sing classic rock hits. And then you’re going to kill yourself to end the pain.
A child who is also a sentient bear learns that he’s a bear, and runs away to “Bear Hall”, where bears can be together or some shit, and he can hang out with his favorite band, The Country Bears. But when he gets there, UH OH! The band is broken up! Can one plucky kid bring them back together with a series of lame, musical adventures before Christopher Walken tears down Bear Hall?! CAN HEE!??!?!?!
Yeah, Christopher Walken is the bad guy in this movie, and he’s the only part that’s even marginally enjoyable. You get the feeling that he doesn’t even care that this is a fucking godawful film, he’s just having some fun and probably getting paid a million bucks to make armpit farts. That’s the nicest thing I can say about this movie, that one actor didn’t care how much it sucked.
Films in Boxes 
Leave a comment