Secondhand Lions (2003)

Secondhand Lions (2003)

Directed by: Tim McCanlies

Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Michael Caine, Robert Duvall

I’ve been sitting on these movies for too damn long, and this one in particular I just can’t wait to get over with. Not because it’s a necessarily spectacular film one way or another, but because every time I see it’s name in my little movie notebook, I keep hearing the Oysterhead song “Rubberneck Lions” OVER AND OVER IN MY HEAD, and it’s maddening.

Haley Joel Osment is sent to live with his two great-uncles whom the family thought were dead and who are also apparently incredibly rich. Also, of course, they’re old and grumpy and they don’t like kids or relatives or anything else, just like old men should. The thing starts as a plot by Osment’s mom to get their cash, but he ends up realizing that they’re the only ones who care about him, and vice versa, and so on and so on.

There’s nothing really unique or interesting to this obvious plot, and the dramatic scenes are clogged with unbelievable over-emotiveness… but I gotta admit that Robert Duvall is fucking great as a violent, cantankerous old man. Michael Caine’s good too, but man, Duvall hits it out of the park here. He’s really the only reason I’d recommend seeing this one.