Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Directed by: Michael Pressman

Starring: Michelan Sisti, Leif Tilden, Kenn Scott

I loved this movie as a kid. As I see it now, it probably has some small part to play in why I’m so entertained with stupid movies now. THANKS A LOT, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!

The secret of how the turtles came to be is revealed: David Warner made up a whole bunch of bright green goop which turns animals all big and smart (well, smartER). Unfortunately, the Shredder gets his hands on some and makes his own mutant animals, a snapping turtle and a wolf or something like that. Then they have to fight each other while Vanilla Ice sings an embarrassing song about ninjas.

There’s a definite camp value to this film, and that’s really the only thing I still find entertaining about it. Otherwise, it’s a dumb kid’s movie that absolutely reeks of the 80’s. I bet that if I showed this movie to a six-year old kid nowadays (the same age I was when this came out), he’d kick me. Hard. That little shit. I hate that kid. You know what? To HELL with him! I can buy ice cream, and that little fucker can’t. GAME POINT!