Subterano (2003)

Subterano (2003)

Directed by: Esben Storm

Starring: Alex Demitriades, Tasma Walton, Alison Whyte

Subterano is some sort of retarded hybrid between Saw and Cube, except without any sort of inherent terror or horror or anything the least bit frightening at all. Maybe it’s because everything’s so goddamn predictable and generic? Could be, could be…

Several people are trapped in a futuristic parking garage and tormented by killer toys, all controlled by a high schooler who is trying to turn murder into a video game. Boy, those kids nowadays with their violent video games, eh? Eh?

There’s nothing good or even remarkable about this movie. Seriously, it’s so bland and generic they might as well have made the box cover a white page with black Helvetica text and a King Soopers logo.