The Curse of the Komodo (2004)

The Curse of the Komodo (2004)

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Tim Abell, Melissa Brasselle, William Langlois

What the hell was with the fascination with komodo dragons in the early aughts? They’re big, slow lizards that just chill all day, which is cool in a way, but not so much in the way that making them constant monsters in bad horror movies would seem like a good idea. Then again, I’m not Jim Wynorski, the man who makes movies like The Hills Have Thighs, The Da Vinci Coed, and The Breastford Wives.

In Curse of the Komodo, there’s an island where there’s a giant komodo dragon, and it starts eating the group of scientists there. Also, some bank robbers land and help them try to escape once it turns out that the military who put them there is going to napalm the island instead of helping them off. What?

None of the plot points make any sense in this movie. Why aren’t the military going to help them? There is literally no reason ever given as to why they would bomb the island instead of helping these people. And it turns out the bank robbers could leave as soon as they landed, but the pilot lied about it being broken… again, for absolutely no reason. And through the entire fucking movie these people are shooting the hell out of the komodo will all the assault rifles and the rest of their massive arsenal, never having even the slightest bit of effect on the giant pixelated thing… yet they keep on doing it. This is more of a general action movie thing, I know, but still, the fucking thing never even flinched. STOP IT. Oh, and another thing, they had a shield thing to keep the komodo out, but limited fuel for it, so they run it all day so it can run out at night, even though they state several times that the thing only moves around at night. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY WHY WHY?!!! Oh, and another thing…