Robot Monster (1953)

Robot Monster (1953)

Directed by: Phil Tucker

Starring: George Nader, Claudia Barrett, Selena Royle

Wow, man! 3-D movies are like, the wave of the future, man! Avatar was the REASON they made 3-D, MAN! Fuck you. 3-D is a fad that comes back to life every ten years or so, then dies once people get sick of it. Look, even fucking Robot Monster was made in 3-D. Shut up.

There’s an alien robot (which is a guy in an ape suit and diving helmet) who’s killed every single person on the Earth except for six people. Wow. He’s having a hard time with these survivors because they have a treatment that makes them immune to his “calcinator ray”, so he has to go in and take care of things manually. The hitch in the plan is that he falls in love with the one hot chick left in the world, and starts questioning the ro-man plan for killing all hu-mans. Also, at the end it turns out the whole movie was just a dream.

This was a first season MST3K episode, but I didn’t know that the first time I watched it. I thought I had discovered something so wonderful and awful that I should’ve gotten a damn medal or something. What with the monster looking like a bargain bin at a Halloween store and the random, completely unconnected spliced-in footage of dinosaurs fighting, this movie is a treat. Of course, I found out that I was beaten to the punch by the authorities on bad movies by ten years. Those jerks.