Oliver & Company (1988)

Oliver & Company (1988)

Directed by: George Scribner

Starring:  Joey Lawrence, Billy Joel, Cheech Marin

I didn’t even know this movie existed before this whole ‘watch every Disney movie’ experiment, and I still wish I hadn’t. What a goddamn terrible movie.

Oliver & Company is vaguely based on Oliver Twist, except they’re dogs and cats and there are Billy Joel songs and Cheech is a chihuahua and there’s nothing even slightly worthwhile about any of it.

Oliver is a kitten who doesn’t get adopted, so he goes out on the streets. He comes across a dog named Dodger (Joel) who leads him back to the house where his gang of dogs lives with their master, Fagin. Oliver gets picked up by a little girl during an attempt by the dogs to steal a car (??), and they fall in love. Fagin kidnaps Oliver in hopes of ransoming him back to the little rich girl, but instead the girl gets kidnapped for ransom from her rich parents by the guy that Fagin owes money to. As you might imagine, it falls on the animals to rescue the little girl.

I watched The Little Mermaid right before Oliver & Company, and let me tell you, that was a jarring experience. Compared to the former, this movie looks like warmed-over shit. This is maybe the worst looking Disney movie, not counting the awful CGI films they did. And then there’s the whole Billy Joel thing… That gives the film such a massive 80’s vibe that it’s almost embarrassing to watch.

I gotta love Cheech Marin as the little chihuahua, if only because it shows that hispanic comedians have been doing the voices of unfunny chihuahuas for decades now. Sure, there’s maybe a little difference between Cheech and George Lopez… maybe, but it’s still the same thing and it’s still just awful.

I can honestly say that I will do my best to never see this movie again in my life. It was painful, especially sandwiched between significantly better films. Don’t watch Oliver & Company. Do it for Billy Joel. You know, because he’s terrible.