The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)

Directed by: Rob Zombie

Starring: Tom Papa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Paul Giamatti

If anybody ever needed a definitive reason why Rob Zombie needs to stop this whole failed movie director experiment, it’s this amazingly awful movie. Seriously, ANYTHING would be better than this.

El Superbeasto, a masked wrestler and action movie star who enjoys the seedier things in life, sets out to stop the evil Dr. Satan (Paul Giamatti? What? WHY?!) from marrying the stripper that El Superbeasto wants to have sex with. He’s helped by a femme fatale (Zombie’s wife, of course) and her robot sidekick (Brian Posehn, who apparently feels obligated to be in anything even vaguely related to metal). Along the way there are countless pop culture references thrown in haphazardly along with plenty of cartoon boobs and some of the worst dialogue I’ve seen in a widely-released film.

I have to say that I was both surprised and supremely disappointed that Paul Giamatti was in this piece of shit. He’s a great actor, he doesn’t have to do this sort of crap, right? The only thing I can figure is that he owed Rob a favor or something. Maybe he got to drive around the car from The Munsters for a weekend as repayment for doing this movie? Mostly I just like this theory because I love the mental image of Paul Giamatti, mid-40’s balding pudgy guy, cruising around Hollywood in the car from the Munsters, wearing sunglasses and blasting Bruce Springsteen. That mental image is a thousand times funnier than The Haunted World of El Superbeasto.