Directed by: Mircea Dragan
Starring: Mircea Basta, Radu Beligan, Toma Caragiu
I’m in a major writing rut right now, but I’m about thirty movies behind, so I got to write something, even if it’s not up to my already very low standards. Whee.
The Poseidon Explosion (which was very obviously not named that for the American release to capitalize off of The Poseidon Adventure. Definitely not) is about a boat that’s on fire. This isn’t just ANY boat that’s on fire, though, oh no! This boat is on fire and has fertilizer on board, which makes it something like a time bomb, which will eventually explode. The important part of that sentence is, surprisingly, the “eventually” bit, as the boat just kinda catches fire and stays that way for days, I think, and all the people who are supposed to be putting it out just kinda nonchalantly wander about the fiery boat for the entire duration of the movie without making any headway, or even seeming to care.
It’s possible that I just don’t understand the vagaries of marine combustion (ooh, that made it sound like I know things!), but why the hell did it take so long for this boat to burn down, and why did it seem like the concept of just PUTTING OUT THE FIRE never occur to anybody? Eventually they just drive it out to sea and it explodes at the last minute as some guy stays behind for no reason, but they could’ve easily done that days before, so what was even the poiNTHRWGGGHDFRHRRRHGGHG!!
This movie is stupid. Stupid movie. Mostly it’s just really boring, which is amazing as almost every minute of the movie has fire all over it, and everybody loves fire! Especially Mikey. Don’t you give Mikey no matches, no matter what he say or what he do…
Films in Boxes 
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