Sea Wolf: The Pirate’s Curse (2001)

Sea Wolf: The Pirate’s Curse (2001)

Directed by: Mark Roper

Starring: Thomas Ian Griffith, Gerit Kling, Barry Flatman

“Recalls the fun and excitement of INDIANA JONES and ROMANCING THE STONE”, eh? I… guess I can see that… You could possibly start thinking things like, ‘Wow, even Romancing the Stone is a better movie than this…’

As you can probably guess, Sea Wolf: The Pirate’s Curse has little to nothing to do with pirates. What, you couldn’t figure that out from the cover where the guys wears an eyepatch with a jolly roger on it and there’s a treasure chest, neither of which appear in the movie? You’re weird. What if I told you that it was a movie produced by The Asylum, creators of the most consistently awful movies I’ve ever seen? Yeah, now you understand.

Sea Wolf is actually about a guy who has a tiny ship and considers himself a pirate (although, like I’ve said, he never gets around to doing anything piratey) who’s hired to transport some old guy from one island to another. This gets him into a GRAND ADVENTURE involving identical twins, some possible treasure which I honestly don’t remember if it even exists, and… sword fights. And a gun duel. This movie is stupid.

I got this movie because it had a terrible DVD cover and name, and was $1.99 in the used rack at the Second Spin down the road. I paid too much for it.