Not of This Earth (1988)

Not of This Earth (1988)

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Traci Lords, Arthur Roberts, Lenny Juliano

So many things to talk about, so little I want to actually write… All right, let’s address the fact that this film stars Traci Lords in one of her first non-porn films. If you aren’t aware, she gained minor fame in the 80’s for making over 100 pornos between the ages of 15 and 18. Yep, she’s a classy one. Also, this is a remake of a Roger Corman film… produced by Roger Corman. Starring a porn star. Oh, Roger…

Despite the poster, Lords isn’t ACTUALLY the titular “not of this Earth” character (yeah, I couldn’t help myself…). That actually refers to an alien guy who wears a suit and sunglasses and eats the souls of prostitutes. I’m telling you, this is some classy stuff. Anyway, this guy goes around getting women to be topless around him in various ways before bad 80’s special effects vomit all over the screen and they fall over. This continues for most of the film, except for one part with a completely different woman that stabs a guy and it almost seems like it was taken from another movie. Not that Corman would ever do such a thing.

In the end the guy dies because of… high pitched noises, I think? I don’t exactly remember. It was stupid, trust me. Now, even though I mentioned that this is a remake, I haven’t seen the original to make any comparisons. This is, despite proof to the contrary, I really do try to avoid watching Roger Corman movies as much as possible. He’s just everywhere…