Revamped (2007)

Revamped (2007)

Directed by: Jeff Rector

Starring: Jeff Rector, Christa Campbell, Martin Kove

Well, I gotta give this piece of crap one thing: That’s good poster design.

If you can’t tell, this is a vampire movie about the director/writer/producer/star Jeff Rector and how it’s HIS MOVIE! MINE MINE MINE! A guy decides to become a vampire and fake his own death (leaving nothing to his wife in his will. That’ll teach her! Wait, what?) because… Anyway, he gets cremated and then brought back to life X years later as a vampire after there were apparently some big vampire wars or something. Then he has to… do something for some reason… Okay, I don’t even remember what the retarded plot of this movie was, and I just saw it two days ago. All I remember is that Fred Williamson was in it, and that he was the best part. Easily. That’s how bad this movie is.

Children, never ever watch a movie just because it’s name is a pun. In fact, never watch any movies with puns in their names. It’s bound to either be something like this or a low-end CGI movie with talking animals. There is no middle ground here.