Tag Archives: porn parody

Red Riding Hood XXX (2010)

red riding hood xxxRed Riding Hood XXX (2010)

Directed by: Ashlynn Brooke

Starring: Lexi Belle, James Franko, Danny Mountain

one-star

Red Riding Hood is such an old fairy tale, and one we all hear when we’re kids, it’s not surprising at all that there are a million porn versions of it out there. I think this one is specifically “parodying” a more recent film version of the story, but I haven’t seen it. Still, it’s very obvious to see how the situation of an innocent young girl being prayed on by an evil older man with questionable motives can be sexualized. And yet they still fucked it up big time.

You know the story of Red Riding Hood, right? Well, this is the same thing, except the “big, bad wolf” is played by some loser in a black wifebeater and really terrible fake sideburns that keep almost falling off. I know you don’t expect good production values from porn, and I am quite thankful they decided on that over a dude in a fursuit or something horrifying like that, but… come on.

When I sat down to watch a Red Riding Hood porn parody, I told myself the one and only criteria it would need to meet would be if it included the line, “My, what a big cock you have!” and this movie did not. So I give this movie an F-.


The Office: A XXX Parody Episode 2 (2010)

office xxx 2The Office: A XXX Parody Episode 2 (2010)

Directed by: Lee Roy Myers

Starring: Ashlynn Brooke, Dane Cross, James Deen

one-star

You know what they say about the sequel never being as good as the original, right? Here I was, ranting and raving about the first The Office XXX Parody and the second one just lets me down so much. It’s a damn shame, this porn parody sequel.

It’s… like the hit TV show The Office, but… people have sex with each other for no reason. And it’s not funny at all. Which is still in keeping with the last couple seasons of that show, ugh.

The first movie had a kind of charm to it, in that it tried to keep in the spirit of the show, but this one just kinda falls flat. They put the porn version of Creed in a sex scene. Nobody wants to watch Creed have sex. Ever. And for some reason, the girl who plays Kelly’s porn counterpart is white. I don’t like it.


Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2014)

snow white xxxSnow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2014)

Directed by: Axel Braun

Starring: Riley SteeleJessica DrakeRyan Driller

one-star

In my life I’ve seen the classic fairy tale of Snow White done in so many different pornographic ways that the story itself is disgusting to me. That being said, they manage to completely fuck up the porn version of Snow White to the point where it’s just awful and boring. Doing a grimdark version of a fairy tale follows different rules when it’s a porn version, since porn has never been marketed towards kids, so that’s not really something that you’re overcoming by making things gritty. You gotta amp it up a whole hell of a lot more to get it to be even the slightest bit shocking, so when you halfass it, it comes out tamer than a traditional porn take on the story would be, and it’s just comical and awful. Maybe I’m thinking about this whole thing too much, but isn’t too much thought better than none at all?

You know the story of Snow White. There’s an evil queen who gets jealous of a pretty girl, so she sends a guy out to kill her. He can’t do it and hides her away and just tells the queen he killed her, but she’s all evil and magical and figures it out anyway. The queen disguises herself as an old lady and brings a poison apple to the girl, which makes her fall asleep. Then the queen invades Snow White’s dream and turns it into a lesbian BDSM nightmare. Just like the Grimm Brothers story.

At least it’s got a better plot than most porn parodies, if only because they didn’t have to come up with anything on their own this time. Since that’s one of the criteria which I judge these by, you’d think I’d have enjoyed it more. It’s still just a really shitty movie, though. Maybe… maybe porn movies aren’t really MEANT to be judged by the story? …NAHHH.


Friends: A XXX Parody (2009)

friends xxxFriends: A XXX Parody (2009)

Directed by: Lee Roy Myers

Starring: Kayla PaigeVanessa NaughtyJordan Kingsley

two-stars

Yep, they made a porn parody of Friends, the 90’s sitcom. Aren’t you happy that you can relive all the boring shows of  yesteryear again… in porn form!? I don’t remember the last time I saw Friends, but I do know that I in no way missed the experience, and it was uncomfortable and upsetting to think that Lee Roy Myers thought I wanted to see this. That anybody did.

Two of the Friends are going to get married, so the Friends split up into men and women groups and hold bachelor/bachelorette parties which end in sex. Also all the Friends have not-quite-there names, like Moanica instead of Monica and Freebie instead of Phoebe. It’s so wacky and not copyright infringing at all.

Why is it some porn movies change the names like that and others don’t? It’s clearly not a necessity since quite a few of them don’t change people’s names anymore, so does that mean those movies are just more lazy? Is making up shitty porn versions of popular characters’ names something that’s an extra step of work? Because baby, I can do that all day long. Call me, Myers.


The Office: A XXX Parody (2009)

office xxxThe Office: A XXX Parody (2009)

Directed by: Lee Roy Myers

Starring: Jenna HazeJames DeenAshlynn Brooke

two-stars

Did you ever watch The Office and really wish you could see everybody having sex with each other? What do you mean you do, that’s sick you’re sick what’s wrong with you??! Just kidding. It really doesn’t matter whether it’s something you’ve thought before, because the porn parody machine is going to keep churning these things out regardless of interest, so you have the chance to see any number of sitcoms with a healthy beef injection. You know, just in case it turns out you like watching sex.

It’s pretty much like an early episode of the American show; there’s a camera crew filming people in a sexually-charged workplace run by a woman who makes really bad and awkward jokes in between bouts of sapphic orgies. Everybody else that works there also has sex with each other, and it’s a little unclear how any work ever gets done there. In this “episode”, the boss brings in a stripper for a talk about sexual harassment in the workplace, and it turns into, you guessed it, an orgy.

As far as porn parodies go, it’s not that bad. It’s funny in points, and the concept of porn in a workplace is nothing new to the industry or any of the performers, so they all really know what they’re doing already. Seriously, the idea of having sex at work is one of those that occurs to everybody at one point or another, and this is just a way to deliver that fantasy while also combining it with a popular property.