Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2014)

snow white xxxSnow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2014)

Directed by: Axel Braun

Starring: Riley SteeleJessica DrakeRyan Driller

one-star

In my life I’ve seen the classic fairy tale of Snow White done in so many different pornographic ways that the story itself is disgusting to me. That being said, they manage to completely fuck up the porn version of Snow White to the point where it’s just awful and boring. Doing a grimdark version of a fairy tale follows different rules when it’s a porn version, since porn has never been marketed towards kids, so that’s not really something that you’re overcoming by making things gritty. You gotta amp it up a whole hell of a lot more to get it to be even the slightest bit shocking, so when you halfass it, it comes out tamer than a traditional porn take on the story would be, and it’s just comical and awful. Maybe I’m thinking about this whole thing too much, but isn’t too much thought better than none at all?

You know the story of Snow White. There’s an evil queen who gets jealous of a pretty girl, so she sends a guy out to kill her. He can’t do it and hides her away and just tells the queen he killed her, but she’s all evil and magical and figures it out anyway. The queen disguises herself as an old lady and brings a poison apple to the girl, which makes her fall asleep. Then the queen invades Snow White’s dream and turns it into a lesbian BDSM nightmare. Just like the Grimm Brothers story.

At least it’s got a better plot than most porn parodies, if only because they didn’t have to come up with anything on their own this time. Since that’s one of the criteria which I judge these by, you’d think I’d have enjoyed it more. It’s still just a really shitty movie, though. Maybe… maybe porn movies aren’t really MEANT to be judged by the story? …NAHHH.

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