The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009)

AM:TP finalThe Time Traveler’s Wife (2009)

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Eric BanaRachel McAdamsRon Livingston

one-star

If you know me or if you’ve read a decent chunk of my movie reviews, one thing you’ll glean is that I absolutely hate time travel. Even if you just catch me on the street, you’d probably know that, since I tend to walk around yelling “FUCK TIME TRAVEL” to nobody in particular on my days off. So, this is a movie about time travel, and I hate it.

Eric Bana has a rare disorder that makes him a terrible actor. Also, his character in this movie has a disease that makes him randomly and physically travel through time and space so he’s always popping up naked in places and he spends most of his life breaking into houses and stealing clothes. Not like the Hulk though, very different from that. One person he frequently ends up visiting in the past and future is his wife, who he first meets when she’s a little girl, and he’s really creepy about how they’re gonna be bangin’ one day. There’s a lot of traditional romantic movie stuff, and eventually they try to have babies, but they keep warping out of the womb. They have marital problems and they fight and love etc etc etc.

Bana turns in his usual performance where it looks like he’s always about to cry because he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and the chemistry between him and the chipper McAdams is so unbelievable that not even her cute, wholesome attractiveness can save it. You really want her to be with someone better, someone who doesn’t show up naked in a field when she’s 8 and tell her that they’re going to get married. It’s a pretty fucked up thing to do to a kid imo.

The sci-fi concept behind a guy unstuck in time and how that affects his relationships is interesting enough, but the way they do the time travel is just so weird and bad that they get more wrapped up in having to explain the rules of it than actually exploring anything really deep with his marriage.

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