Directed by: Andrew Niccol
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel
Not to be confused with the (much better) South Korean monster movie of the same name, The Host is the latest effort from Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, though perhaps “effort” is the wrong word. Is it at all possible that we can all just admit that these are terrible movies, and just sometimes people enjoy consuming junk? Because that’s totally okay to want a twinkie, just don’t go calling it a steak when it’s clearly not even close.
In the not-too-distant future, humanity has been conquered by aliens who take over human bodies and then just kinda… hang out. Our protagonist is one alien that took over a young girl who’s part of a human resistance, and this alien eventually joins them. Also there’s a lot of really weird, misplaced teen romance between the alien and a boy, and the girl she’s inhabiting and another boy.
If you want an exciting story about an alien learning how to like humans and not destroy them, then you should definitely watch Enemy Mine and not The Host. Or, if instead you want a cute romance with some sort of extraterrestrial bent, go ahead and watch E.T., and not The Host. If you’re really, REALLY dead set on watching The Host, my advice would be to not do that and spend some time thinking about just why it is your life has spiraled so far out of control that you have these incredibly wrong desires.