Madagascar (2005)

madagascarMadagascar (2005)

Directed by: Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath

Starring: Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer

one-star

Remember when Dreamworks was still starting out and they had basically only made Shrek and people hadn’t really realized that no good CGI film would come out for a decade that wasn’t made by Pixar? Ah, the good ol’ days. Then Madagascar came along and thrust Ben Stiller and Chris Rock in all our faces again and made seven sequels and demanded that we all love their empty little story as much as Shrek. I could go on and on about how Madagascar is a great example of learning all the wrong lessons from Toy Story, but this isn’t the place for it. I mean, what is this, a movie review? Yeah RIGHT.

A group of zoo animals accidentally escape from the zoo and find themselves in Madagascar, where they’re worshipped by a native colony of lemurs and must learn how to be wild animals again. The biggest problem is that Ben Stiller is a lion and Chris Rock is a zebra and in the wild, lions tend to want to eat zebras. This is most of the conflict, and they keep going back to it over and over and over again without ever resolving anything until they finally get to the end and just say “well whatever, time for a DANCE NUMBER!!”

It’s depressingly free of any humor or fun, switching wildly between catch phrases and grey rainy depression. Add on top of that the obnoxious talents of Stiller and Rock and it becomes an hour and a half long prison you can’t wait to escape, and god forbid you should’ve brought any children along with you to see it, or else you know you’ll be hearing the same stilted unfunny lines over and over again for the rest of your natural life.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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