Evil Bong (2006)

evil bongEvil Bong (2006)

Directed by: Charles Band

Starring: David Weidoff, John Patrick Jordan, Mitch Eakins

one-star

Ah. Now this is more like the kind of movie I’m used to watching. I’m pretty sure Charles Band delights in the fact that he became moderately famous just by making shitty cheap movies through the 90’s, and now he’s reveling in just how bad of a movie he can make. How else can you explain the fact that this movie has TWO sequels?

Evil Bong is about, amazingly enough, an evil bong. No fake advertising tricks here, just pure and simple stupidity. A bunch of stoner roommates see an advertisement for a bong on the cover of a magazine and send away for it, only to find that when you smoke out of it, it eats your soul and you end up in a strip club of horrors inside the bong. As more and more people die, the bong starts growing a face. Things seem dire… until Tommy Chong comes along! Turns out it was his bong and his old lady sold it while he wasn’t looking, and now he’s here to end it once and for all.

This movie is so bad that Tommy Chong is not only by and far the best actor in the film, it’s also an immense relief to see him trying to hit a bong puppet with a non-functioning chainsaw just because he’s actually someone you can bear to watch for more than a minute. There’s plenty of boobs and terrible jokes about smoking weed, and of course there’s Tommy Chong, and yet the whole thing still adds up to a movie that’s harder to watch than baby seals being clubbed. A lot less funny too, WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!!!

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