The Wolverine (2013)

wolverineThe Wolverine (2013)

Directed by: James Mangold

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Will Yun Lee, Tao Okamoto

one-star

So everyone knows that X-Men 3 was a wretchedly awful movie, but I didn’t think that Fox would admit that, to the point where they clearly retcon that movie here. Of course, they do it without any setup or anything except for just “oh, I guess Jean Grey isn’t Phoenix or whatever? And… she was killed by Wolverine? What is this bullshit?”

Wolverine’s on the run because he accidentally killed Jean Grey an indeterminate time before, and he heads back to Japan to talk to some guy he used to know an even more indeterminate time before that. He teams up with the dying guy’s daughter to stop some ninjas and samurai (because it’s Japan, you see) and they have super powers and Wolverine ain’t movin’ too fast nowadays oh no.

Yeah, Hugh Jackman is too old to be Wolverine anymore. Sorry dude, I know you love the role and boy howdy were you a good casting choice 15 years ago, but that character doesn’t age and you aren’t a comic book guy so please stop. Also, can we just stop with the X-Men movies and give that property back to Marvel, please? Fox has shown to be nothing but incompetent with it since the first film and Marvel’s doing pretty dang good so far. I guess maybe I should wait until that Guardians of the Galaxy movie comes out before I start being too kind, though.

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