Love Bites (1985)

love bitesLove Bites (1985)

Directed by: Suze Randall

Starring: Harry Reems, Traci Lords, Amber Lynn

two-stars

Okay, so first things first: If you’re familiar with who Traci Lords is, you’ll probably know that she was arrested for lying about her age and doing about 20 porn movies before she turned 18, and yes, this is one of them. My defense for watching this is that it’s part of history, and frankly I don’t want to see naked 17 year old Traci Lords any more than I do when she’s 18, or now when she’s 45, or any time. Just wanted to be transparent about that.

While on a jungle expedition, a biologist discovers a new species of mosquito, the bite of which causes anybody to become a sex-crazed maniac. One of these mosquitos gets sent back to civilization and escapes, so Dr. Harry Reems and his nurse Traci Lords have to chase the mosquito around using a geiger counter, barely avoiding all the sex in its wake.

Basically every sex scene starts with some setup of people who would either not be having sex normally under any situation, or people who would be having sex within minutes anyway. There’s one part where a mosquito bites the head of an anti-porn meeting and goes into his fantasy of all of them as a harem and having sex with each other, only to come back to reality after he cums on his maid’s stockings. That’s the kind of weird subversive humor that you get in porn that’s not REALLY funny, but you get where they were coming from. This movie has a lot of that.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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