The Crow (1994)

crowThe Crow (1994)

Directed by: Alex Proyas

Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis

two-stars

Sure, nowadays when we talk about The Crow it’s because it was the cause of Brandon Lee’s death, and how similar this was to his father Bruce’s nearly on-screen death. However, I think we’re all forgetting to mention something very important about this movie: It’s actually really dumb. Oh and also it’s responsible for a good chunk of the goth subculture, which I guess is probably all gone now? I dunno, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a Hot Topic.

Brandon Lee is killed by a bunch of ne’er-do-wells who also rape his fiancee. A year later, Lee comes back to life as an avenging angel of death who puts makeup on and wears a black trenchcoat and goes around chewing the scenery as he massacres everyone that did him wrong. It’s kinda like Darkman, except the “hero” doesn’t have any flaws or weaknesses whatsoever.

I don’t know if you can get any better at knocking off Tim Burton’s style without actually being post 2000’s Tim Burton. It’s a two-tone film, there’s all sorts of vaguely mystical happenings that make this crazy guy in goofy makeup seem more badass than he acts. It’s awful to say, but really the worst part about this movie is Lee’s performance, which is just embarrassing to watch. I guess he’s dead now so he can’t really care about what I say. Which is good. Because he’s bad. At acting.

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