Dexxxter (2009)

dexxxterDexxxter (2009)

Directed by: Landon Weinberg

Starring: Nikki Rhodes, Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweet

one-star

So you know that TV show Dexter about a serial killer who kills other serial killers and the premise seems interesting for about three episodes until you realize that’s all that’s going to happen and that’s really it? Well this is the porn parody of that. No, I don’t know why anyone would make a porn parody of that, but I do know that I watched it, and that this whole reviewing porn as a real movie thing I do is pretty ridiculous sometimes.

Dexxxter Whoregan is a “cum-splatter technician” for the police, which means she goes to crime scenes where people had sex and then is able to reconstruct the sex that they had in her mind or something. When she’s not at work, she captures the people who had the sex and survived, and then has sex with them. Or just talks about them having sex sometimes. It’s kinda weird.

The movie doesn’t really know what it’s trying to do with its interstitial material. Someone took the original show and replaced a few words with sexual ones, then the writer kinda… left. He was just done. I’m sure he got his fifty bucks and went to the bar without really caring about how to make it tie in with the show or relate to itself, and he especially didn’t spend any time thinking about the once-high hopes he once had for a career, god no, that’s why God invented gin, beautiful repressing gin. I’m… not sure why I just cast Charles Bukowski as the writer for this porno, but I like it.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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