Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)

cockneys vs zombiesCockneys vs. Zombies (2012)

Directed by: Matthias Hoene

Starring: Lee Asquith-Coe, Michelle Ryan, Honor Blackman

one-star

I’m done with zombie movies. It used to be a horror concept about how frightening it would be to have the people you know and love turn into mindless cannibalistic killing machines and there was nothing you could do about it, but now it’s just murder porn for people who want an excuse to shoot and decapitate other human beings. I guess… WE are the true  monsters after all… wooooahhhhh mannnnnnnnnnn!

Three siblings decide to get the help of a couple “professionals” to rob a bank so they can pay for their dear grandpa’s old folk’s home to keep from being demolished. Things go bad when they emerge from the bank with hostages to find that there has apparently been a zombie apocalypse in the last couple minutes and now they have to ward off the living dead and save their grandpa in a different way.

I’m not really sure what the draw or appeal of the whole cockney aspect of the movie was supposed to be, but I’m an American and all I know about them is they gotta silly funny talkin’ voice, a-hyuk. It did have Alan Ford (the pig feeding gangster from Snatch) as the grandpa, and he was good, but that’s about it. I guess it started out interestingly enough with the bank heist, but they threw that premise away pretty quickly and got to the generic mutilation as soon as they could.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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