Directed by: David R. Williams, Mike Bohatch
Starring: Andrew Roth, Kamillia Kataxenna Kova, Gary Marzolf
Why does it feel like it’s been so long since I watched a cheap-ass horror movie, and more importantly why does it feel like a homecoming of sorts?! I feel like there are no easy answers to these questions, but I’m going to get a team of scientists working on this ASAP.
A group of teens go to a haunted house (not like a house that is haunted, one of those theme park-type things) to have sex on the concrete floors surrounded by creepy clown paintings. Strangely enough, they start getting killed in cheap, off-screen ways that leave them covered in fake blood. Turns out it was all the work of a ghostly serial killer, who was given this job by angels or something and he needs some virgin blood.
I don’t remember which one it was, but I’m 100% sure that this was also the same plot for like the fourth or fifth A Nightmare on Elm Street movie, except, you know, it wasn’t in some lame-ass haunted house. I’m really not sure what sequence of decisions led to thinking that filming inside a haunted house was a good idea, I just know that it should’ve been stopped much earlier down the line.