Directed by: Zack Snyder
Starring: Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish
I knew that this was a movie by Zack Snyder, so I was prepared for it being bad. But this… it went above and beyond any expectations I might’ve had. Can we all just admit that Zack Snyder is the next Uwe Boll and stop giving him money for his huge idiot comic book movies, please?
A girl goes into a mental institution to be lobotomized, and while she’s there she goes into a fantasy version of the hospital which is a bordello. Whenever she dances to music in this fantasy place, she goes to yet another fantasy world full of Nazi robots and samurai statues, and what she and her four friends do in that world affect things in the first fantasy world somehow. Actually, it doesn’t matter how, since it’s all fantasy anyway. In fact, none of the movie matters, it’s just a way to showcase big dumb action sequences with little girls in schoolgirl outfits.
This movie is pretty much like a really one-dimensional video game, except you don’t get to play it and you care even less about whether any of the characters survive. It’s pure teenage male fantasy without any of the normal filmic constraints of character development or plot that you’d have in even the dumbest of action movies. If you really love CGI explosions and shitty techno covers of 60’s pop songs, then look no further than this film, you horrible monster.