Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

Directed by: John R. Cherry III

Starring: Jim Varney, Eartha Kitt, Austin Nagler

So this is the Halloween Ernest movie. With Eartha Kitt showing how completely out of place a real actor feels in one of these abominations unto the lord. Ironically, the existence of the Ernest movies is the reason many people have chosen to decry the possibility of a loving god.

Ernest is a garbage truck in this one, and this is important because he has to fight some trolls with milk. Uh… anyway, Ernest’s family was apparently cursed by a troll to get dumber and dumber until one of the freed an evil troll from his captivity in a tree, and the troll is now running around this small town, turning children into wood. Luckily, Ernest is friends with Eartha Kitt, who is an old witch or something, and she has a book that says they can beat the trolls with milk or the true love of a child. The main troll grows a lot of other trolls with his kid power, and Ernest and the neighborhood children left destroy them with milk bombs. Ernest hugs the main troll to demonstrate love and kill him forever. It seems a little weird when it’s worded like that, doesn’t it.

The troll puppets in this are pretty damn cool, actually. Yep, again, Ernest gives me one good thing to say about it, which is that they actually had a decent effects budget and style in the first few movies. Basically the theatrically-released Ernest movies have a decent budget, and it’s amazing how much the quality dips after that’s taken away.

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