Chopping Mall (1986)

Chopping Mall (1986)

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Kelli Maroney, Tony O’Dell, Russell Todd

You look at that damn movie poster and tell me you wouldn’t sit through an hour and a half long stupid horror film produced by Roger Corman’s wife just for the excuse to show that thing off. That’s right, you can’t (because comments are disabled for this post, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha).

A mall decides to get rid of more traditional security systems and replace them with huge doors that close all night that nobody can get through and three robots with laser eyes and stun guns. Against all odds, lightning strikes the robots’ control tower and they go rogue, murdering everybody in their path. Unfortunately, a small group of teens were having a make-out party in a furniture store in the mall the nights the robots decide to go crazy (the first night they’re around) and try to fight back/not die all night.

Yes, the characters could’ve easily just hidden from the robots and been fine, but that is not what a slasher movie is all about! We want to see people get their throats torn out by little plastic grabbers, people catch themselves on fire, and yes, we especially want to see people get their heads blown up by lasers. OF COURSE. That’s basically the whole reason they invented the medium of film, so they could one day make Chopping Mall.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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